Yes I hold my hands up it’s a very downbeat title for a post, but I’m afraid it perfectly summarises my mood. So to begin on a lighter note, I had several kind and positive missives following yesterday’s entry, most of which encouraged me to go against judgement and get myself a canine companion.
But what I didn’t mention in my peroration of the subject was that I’m finding it increasingly difficult to look after myself let alone feed, walk, train and love a dog.
A case in point happened recently when I travelled to Salford Quays to try and drum up some work and stealth-camp in wealthy environs. My old friend Kim had been saving post that’s still being delivered to my apartment, which I was forced to give up in March. Among the shit-brown envelopes were two from the NHS, charging me a penalty totalling circa £130 for signing a prescription exemption without due authorisation.
Now let me make it clear that I am guilty as charged because though I was homeless at the time, I was not officially unemployed as I was not then claiming benefit, but only because I’d naively assumed that I wouldn’t be eligible without a fixed abode. In mitigation, however, and I hope, I was penniless and depressed and badly needed medication. So what was I to do? Well to be frank it was get the meds or cower to the black dog. So I went for the former.
These were dark and ‘orange’ days I’m referring to (and for which I send a bouquet of barbed wire to the dog and some humans by way of thanks) whereas latterly I’d been in a much better place, mentally if not financially. But then to get this penalty notice it popped the bubble in my spirit-level.
Anyway what can you do? Well you can write to the creditors and argue your case for the defence. A good idea except there isn’t an address on the letter, only a number to call or an online form to complete. With no credit on my mobile, I opted for the online service on which I wrote a lengthy plea…
While pleading guilty to the crime, I testified that I wasn’t at the time and am no longer at the address in Salford Quays, in fact I don’t have an address at all as I am living in my Ottermobile. Furthermore, at the time of the criminal activity I was desperately depressed and unable to pay the price of a prescription. It’s unhelpful, I suggested, to receive letters like the above and I would’ve hoped that the medication cited on the prescription might give a signal that all was not well with the defendant. Admittedly my case is probably buried deep within a computerised system and it would be naive to assume each case is investigated to its fullest, but as I pointed out in my defence, it might not be the best way forward to pursue damages incurred as it’s unlikely I’d be in a position to cough up.
Even further to that, in asking them not to write to the given address in future, I wondered where and how they could find me to take the matter further eg. litigation? I hereby confess to chuckling ironically at the notion of their manhunt and what might happen if my case for the defence meets with negativity. Will they send me to prison? Well, at least I’d have a home, a roof over my head, and they’d know precisely where to send their letters. Or will they send in the bailiffs?
Well, that makes me chuckle too, because there more than likely isn’t 130 quid’s worth of chattels onboard the Ottermobile to cover my debt to society. I guess they could take my broken TV, my walking boots and my kitchenware. If they did, I truly and absolutely wouldn’t have a pot to piss in.